Nicol C. Campbell
My Path of Truth
School of Truth
Johannesburg, 2nd ed., 1954
[ix] I have frequently been asked what I consider to have been my greatest blessing, and in every case, where I have answered "fear", the questioner has been dumb-founded. But I always had a very logical explanation waiting for him.
As I think back, I remember how forcibly I was struck by the 'weary, stale, flat and unprofitable' quality of the lives lived by the average man and woman, and I had a very lively dread of ever having to endure such a humdrum existence myself, and it was this fear of what the future might hold for me that spurred me on to think independently and to refuse to accept conditions, circumstances, and appearances at their face value. Around me I saw every kind of lack and discord and I remembered how, as a child, I had been taught that God was a loving Father, and was good, so, though I could see very little evidence in support of such statements, I determined to prove Him for myself.
I was acquainted with the teachings of the Master, and I believed in them, but without fear I might have been too apathetic to put them to the test; without fear I should never have discovered that God could become my supply, I should not have guessed that He could be my health, and in all probability I should never have sought Him out at all.
[x] It was because I felt helpless and afraid, because I wanted a friend on whom I could rely, who despite my shortcomings--my doubts and fears--would stand by me, that I began my quest for God. Obviously if my life, or yours, is filled with peace and happiness, there will seem to be no need for us to pray to Him. It is only when we feel that something of good is lacking that we begin to look around for help, and so turn to Him for aid.
Each of us has at some time or another to learn to know God, not as some anthropomorphic being, afar off, or as an abstract impersonal law, but as a living, loving partner Whose one desire is to bless and succour us, but most of us would not seek--much less find--this Presence without the pressure of circumstances to egg us on, so it is clear that it is the very discords in our lives, and the fears that they engender, that are, in fact, our greatest blessings (in disguise) since it is they that start us out on our journey up to God. These are what bring about the initial stirrings of spiritual consciousness, the earliest inkling that things are not, perhaps, always what they seem, and so prompt the individual to take his first steps in the right direction. When I think back to my own early days, fraught as they were with all manner of cares and qualms, when I was not only terrified of outer conditions but was quite unsure of God--not even convinced of His existence--I am intensely grateful for my present understanding. Even at that time of dissent and diffidence I believed in Him. I accepted the Christ teachings despite the fact that these were contradicted by everything I saw around me, [xi] but I had no absolute faith, and when I set out to prove Him it was with the feeling that I was launching out in an experiment with God.
It was not enough for me to hear that He had helped others, their demonstrations carried no conviction as far as I was concerned, they might have overcome every type of disease, every kind of misery and lack, have even changed a nightmare of discord into peace and harmony yet all this could mean little to me as long as I had no intimate experience of the working of God in my life, therefore I had every reason to bless those doubts and fears that had forced me to carry out my own personal investigation. I asked myself what fear really was, and came to the conclusion that it was nothing other than inverted faith, that is faith in evil as opposed to good. Then I thought about courage which seemed to me to be the faith that arises in the heart after fear has prayed.
In the beginning man must walk blindly with God, he sees no light ahead, there is no plain path for him to tread, it is only after the first spiritual demonstration that an inner awakening takes place. Once a prayer has been answered, there is a slight flutter within the soul that inspires the individual to go on further in his trust.
God has made everything very simple for us.
It is often claimed that times, conditions, and circumstances prevent the manifestation of good in human lives, we are told that this is a physical world and that we must work in a material way, but, if that is true, what is the value of faith? If, despite my trust in Him, the economic situation can affect my affairs, of what use [xii] is God to me? If He is All-knowledge and All-power and is not a person subject to outside influences, but is the Spirit that lives and moves and exists through me, (according to the quality of my consciousness of Him), then, if I have faith in my good, there can be no power that is opposed to Him and He must therefore be able to bring this forth for me and to open up the avenues requisite to my growth.
Every human being goes through the process of birth, baptism, crucifixion and resurrection, it appears to be a recurring cycle, and we wonder why it should be so. Is it not that, dealing as we are, with All-intelligence, these experiences must be necessary to our development? Do we want fulfilment in our lives or are we prepared to compromise with God and have only second best? If we are, that is all we shall achieve, but if we aim at perfection we shall find that we cannot remain static, there must be constant spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical progress, and the effort required of us to produce this state of being is inspired by the fear that we entertain of having to put up with the opposite condition.
This urge derives from an inner voice that tells us that, if we stop practicing Truth, our good will cease to manifest; if we give up thinking, acting, and living in tune with It, after a while we shall be faced with nothingness, and it is the anticipation of this calamity that spurs us on to a renewal of the effort.
I used at times to be churned up with fear, not because I did not believe in God, but because I was not sure if I, myself, had the quality of faith necessary to [xiii] contact this dynamic Power and so to allow It to bring into my life all the things that I desired. I had hundreds and hundreds of demonstrations before there was even a slight cessation of this gripping tension; each new problem seemed to inspire a different type of trepidation and yet I would tell myself over and over again: "But it always works!" Not once did God fail me, although at times the help appeared after the eleventh hour was passed, and always this driving anxiety was in the background suggesting that this time my faith might be inadequate, while my soul simultaneously reassured me and urged me to go forward telling me that it was impossible for God to let me down.
I have consistently tried to develop the quality we call faith by continuously taking practical steps in my life. I would often question, "Is it possible, in view of what these lying conditions aver, for God to forsake me?" From time to time there appeared to be a lack of either health, happiness or supply yet I was convinced that God could not fall short. I was certain that His will was for my good, I knew also that I was working with Him and I felt that my desire was its own prophecy of fulfilment, being the very thing itself in incipiency. Was not this wish on my part God knocking at my consciousness, demanding an outlet, because--of all things--He wanted to express Himself in and through me, in my earthly circumstances and environment as my particular type of good? Why do we grow weary and cry out "How long, Oh Lord, how long?" After having gone apart and reasoned with Him, knowing that we have taken the steps indicated by Him in love and trust, why [xiv] then should we fear that the trial will prove to be beyond our powers of endurance?
The layman would naturally say that for you (or me) there should be an instantaneous demonstration, and, but for the fact that I know this to be your growing time, I would agree with him.
You are, as it were, poised in flight, you have thrown away your parachute, and earth is rushing up to destroy you, and nowhere in sight are the 'everlasting arms'. If you look down, you are seized with panic, but we are told not to do this but rather to direct our gaze upwards and as you look aloft, you hear a still, small Voice whispering, "Fear not!" You do not know whence It comes, you cannot tell why It speaks to you, neither can you explain the feeling of confidence It calls forth, all you know is that Something tells you that you will not fail, that you are going to succeed, and that nothing can prevent you. There is an expansion in your consciousness, you know that you cannot go back, that you must continue along the path of your development even at the cost of a certain measure of pain. You may think that you have reached the limit of your growth, but God knows better, and He wants a greater scope for His Self-expression in and through your being that He may bring forth for you ever more and more of His Good.
You will continue to have your ups and downs, your moments of exaltation, and those of deep depression, but, whatever your feelings may be, you must continue to go on. If you sit by the roadside to rest, your good will do likewise, waiting patiently for you to continue [xv] on your way, if you grumble and grouse, you will not create any positive evil for yourselves but you will separate yourselves temporarily from your good. When eventually you gird up your loins and set forth a-fresh (as you will have to do), the more fearful you are, the higher will your courage rise, as your fear inspires with you the Faith that is the Power of God, and you will know that you are not alone. It will not signify how wrong you may be in your assessment of the situation, or in your interpretation of the spiritual leading you have received, for as long as you continue to advance you will be right, for you will be pressing on in trust. You will be keeping your eyes single to the good, walking perhaps blindly, but with your hands in the Hands of God, and there is no danger of His ever failing you. Were He to do so for any reason whatsoever, either brought about by you or otherwise, you might as well give up and try, by the intelligent use of your own five senses, to work out your respective salvations, but, considering that He is All-power, All-knowledge, All-presence and All-love, is it not worthwhile to try to find the consciousness of His Immanence within you?
Is it not worth all the tribulation you will have--and you will experience much of this with God, during the unfoldment of your lives on this plane--to get rid of fear? Ultimately, if you faint not, this will happen. All the inner turmoil will fade out, and, like a dream that is past, you may remember it, perhaps even with affection, as you realise that it was indeed your greatest friend, since it, and it alone, put you on the path to [xvi] spiritual understanding. What this encompasses is wonderful beyond belief. It does not mean that you will live in a certain amount of poverty, misery and disease ameliorated by a modicum of peace of mind, it means the Fulfilment of God--of all Good, of whatsoever you need whenever you need it--in every department of your lives. Something far greater than you, the material man, will be working in you, through you and for you, and It will never fail. As you experience this you will remember what Paul said: "When I, the mortal, am weak, then I, the Spirit, am strong", but you will discover that there are not two of you, the mortal and the spiritual, you will realise that there is but One, made up of the seeming two merged in one another into a complete unity.
The Spirit of God works in and through man and is the solution to every problem of life. Some have instantaneous demonstrations, and others struggle for weeks and months and years--why, the human mind cannot comprehend! We often wonder--sadly--why God does not give us just a little inkling, some small flash of inspiration that tells us that He is walking with us on the way, and then, when we probe deep enough, we find that the fault lies in ourselves who are somehow, in some way, separating ourselves from Him. We may not have known it, but the Protection was there all the time. Once we realise that the Love and Care of God are ever with us, we shall have all the courage we need for doing and daring in His Name. Problems will still be presented to us, for none may remain static, or travel backwards, all must progress and it is only by the constant [xvii] exercising of our faith that we can grow, and grow. Who likes to get up in the early morning, especially when it is bitterly cold or uncomfortably hot, and stand before an open window breathing deeply and doing physical jerks? Very few, I imagine, but we know that no matter how we feel about it, provided we do the work, we shall improve physically, and it is even so with Truth.
Continue to practice It, wholeheartedly and sincerely. Do not worry about your anxieties and alarms. WELCOME YOUR FEAR! for that it is which will drive you into the Arms of God, into a spiritual understanding of your oneness with Him Who is all Joy, Happiness, Success and Freedom. Is not the effort well worth while? I think it is! I think we can all go down on our bended knees and give thanks for our fears that have led us into that which each of us is seeking--rest and security in the Presence and Knowledge of God, all Good.
What are the words, so full of hope and comfort, that the Father speaks to all who wait on Him: "Fear not, little flock, it is my good pleasure to give you the Kingdom." Yes, verily it is ours for the taking! His Peace that passeth understanding.
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